Sunday, June 15, 2008

And What About Us, The Lost Fathers?

On this Father's Day, I wanted to pay special tribute to the dads whom for whatever reason, are spending this fathers Day without the contact or recognition for their work and love as a father. The fathers that are the unsung heroes and have been forgotten today.

I'll begin by saying I am one of these fathers. I expect no sympathy, no recognition, but if Brian Cuban can admit to being an alcoholic, I can admit to being a lost father.

I've been married twice and divorced twice. Two children from the first marriage and one from the last. I've paid well over 100K in child support, did the best I could considering how divorce rips families apart. I've sometimes worked two jobs to make ends meet. Tried to be the dad I thought I was cut out to be. When divorce comes back in the old day, it was a given that the kids went with the mother assuming she wasn't whoring the streets at night. And if the ex-wife wanted to be a bitch, she and the kids would move from west Texas to the Gulf Coast and make it nearly impossible to see children at all unless it was a special holiday. While the kids were living with the mom, it gave her plenty of time to teach my kids how terrible I was. "See? We don't have anything and you can't dress as nice as you would like because the child support is a week late."

I think I was in a perfect storm when it comes to fatherhood. My own father passed away when I was four years old. And it seems I made a mess of my relationship with my own three kids. My girlfriend comes from a "normal" family and she's having Father's Day at her family to celebrate with them and their dad. I sit here eating a cold bowl of potato salad and wait for the kids to call. (which they won't)

Now all three children are grown and on their own. As as I sit here enjoying my Sunday, no one calls, no one e-mails. Thanks Dad.

I'll leave it like this. I've done everything I was supposed to do given the unfortunate circumstances. I accept my responsibilities, and if that's the way the kids want to do it, it's their choice. Happy Father's day kids. I love you, and I sincerely mean that.

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